When I envisioned my life as a travel blogger everything sounded so perfect. I would travel, take photos and enjoy everything! Lately, however, I have been getting ‘’life slapped’’ from literally every corner. I realised that my dream may not be as dreamy as I thought it would be.
I guess I never really thought about it, but my fiancé has a job too, and even tough we travelled quite a lot in our own time before I started the blog, I never thought that it would eventually become a ”mind burden”. It is a completely different experience when you travel for yourself and when you travel for others. I guess I never saw it like this because I never thought I’d get so much recognition is such a short period of time. I thought it will always be a struggle but it will help a little bit with travelling.
Now I get invited all the time to travel and my 2017. Is literally almost completely booked! And I should not be complaining, but I am not alone in this. Charles has a different job to me, he manages a lot of people, and while he is a director of his company and does not need to go to the office, he kind of does because he cares. But so do I, and my office is everywhere in the world. I noticed that my professional wanderlust is seriously affecting his work, yet he still chooses to go with me because he knows I can’t take anyone else, and that no one else understands what I need. We correlate his business meetings and partners with destinations, so we both have a reason to go somewhere when it happens. And while that works, it is really hard to work on your job while you are working on someone else’s, if you understand what I am saying? I have been thinking lately a lot about it to be honest, could other people who are so inseparable like we are, take the separations so suddenly?
I have enough offers to travel that I could leave my apartment and go around the world this moment. I would not need to come back to anything because I could put all of these trips in all 365 days of the year, but that makes me somewhat irresponsible and I am really confused by everything. It is hard – I guess – to be in a relationship with someone like me who’s job is to be as far away from home as possible. And neither of us really thought that this is what would happen, and now we are trying to manage everything to keep the balance, to be together all the time.
I keep reading these articles on travel bloggers on travelettes, and I find myself a lot in those. Sometimes I have to go somewhere but Charles can’t come, and I feel like someone has cut me in half when he can’t join me. I just don’t feel like travelling without him, he makes the story complete. The way we travel and the way we work together is what makes my stories. We are a professional couple that travels and my readers are just like us. When he cannot come , I feel like I’m in another dimension, living some other life and it is so hard for me to adjust to that novelty. We started doing this together in a way…before this blog even existed as an idea….Now he takes photos and makes the videos, we enjoy our time together while we also work, and I got used to the fact he is always around and there for me. I cannot imagine going anywhere without him.
But do I need to face the reality?
My job is to travel, and his is not. I feel bad if I go without him but everyone tells me I shouldn’t , it’s my job. It’s not that I feel bad going alone because he will feel left out , I feel bad going alone because travelling is something we do together, and it is just not the same without him. I guess that a part of my travel experience is the person that comes with me, and it is not easy to travel with someone you don’t know that well. We know each-other and we understand the tempo and mutual mindset. Sometimes it Is hard for me to deal with the fact that there is no going back, and that in future we will probably have to divide more often than not, and it is a hard feeling for me. If someone separates us I feel like a part of my creativity is gone. Travelling with him really makes things move in a different dynamic, and it is impossible for me to be like that with someone else. He does not only complete me , he completes my blog as well.
I feel for all the travellers and fellow bloggers who are experiencing the same problem as me. It is really not easy knowing that someone you love , has a different profession to you. And while our jobs are considered ‘’fun’’ they are still jobs. This is the first time I am aware that in my life you can’t divide ‘’business and personal’’, because my business is personal! No one can understand my needs and requirements on my travels like Charles can. We travelled the world together and we know exactly what we want. We get lost in cities for hours, we eat in suspicious places, we have one too many with the locals and we make the most unromantic cities, romantic. The experiences that we have and the adventures we stumble upon, could never happen with anyone else but him.
So you see dear clients, partners, hotels and tourist boards… I cannot travel alone. He is my google maps, my notes, my reminder, my photo application, my trip advisor, my tour guide, my taxi driver, my security guard, my support, constant motivator, light at the end of the tunnel, knight in shining armour, reason to wake up in the morning and write these posts and edit the photos and all of these travels would be pointless if he wasn’t there to share the adventure with me. I am Ella, but I need my Fella.
Thank you Charles for being you… I will never let business divide our personal, no matter what the cost <3
I dedicate this blog post to all the Instagram husbands around the world. You matter and we appreciate you <3