Warning: file_get_contents(https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/i-am-ella-13942601): failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 503 Backend fetch failed in /customers/a/b/9/iamella.com/httpd.www/wp-content/themes/iamella/functions.php on line 404 Warning: file_get_contents(https://www.instagram.com/elladvornik/?__a=1): failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 429 Too Many Requests in /customers/a/b/9/iamella.com/httpd.www/wp-content/themes/iamella/functions.php on line 359 What the hell is a ”Real woman”? – I am Ella Warning: file_get_contents(https://www.instagram.com/elladvornik/?__a=1): failed to open stream: HTTP request failed! HTTP/1.1 429 Too Many Requests in /customers/a/b/9/iamella.com/httpd.www/wp-content/themes/iamella/functions.php on line 359

What the hell is a ”Real woman”?

This is the translated english version of the original text that I published in Croatian for a publication called Jutarnji for whom I work as a columnist and can be found on this link.


I am born in a generation that grew with the expansion of the media propaganda. While I was in the elementary school, magazines were filled with photos of underweight models, and all the girls that were my friends at that time wanted to look like that. You don’t have to be stupid to be carried away by the media, you simply have to be young and unexperienced , and your brain is easy to wash.

Young girls and boys want to be accepted in the society, they have big dreams and crazy imagination and dream about glamorous carriers imagining the brighter future. Today the situation is even worse than it was. Internet took over and in short time it imprisoned every young soul that owns a little place in it. Every day, they read newspapers, online magazines and follow life of celebrities. Everything they see on Instagram are rich women, fashion bloggers, food and exotic locations. Having a follower is much more important than having a real friend. The world has changed, fashion changed, journalism changed. Skinny models were out, and more healthier models took the stage.


But even that wasn’t enough.


Today there is a new trend. ‘’The real woman’’. Skinny girls are now the target of insults , including myself. I am told to ‘’eat a burger’’ or ‘’you are disgusting’’. They fear for my health because I am so skinny. Because I am not a ‘’real woman’’. I am annoyed by this constant glorification of ‘’beautiful women’’, ‘’tall women’’, ‘’skinny woman’’, ‘’long leg woman’’ ,’’fat woman’’ , ‘’woman with boobs’’, ‘’woman with no boobs’’…

I am annoyed by the constant judging of women by looks. But I am most annoyed by the ‘’real woman’’. Because a ‘’real woman’’ has ‘’wide hips’’ and double D’s, and all the other women were made in the factory. If by any chance a woman has more than 150 centimetres in hips , then she is called a “confident ” and a “beautiful” woman because it is not morally acceptable for anyone to say that she is overweight – so she wouldn’t be offended. So why is it OK to call someone skinny – anorexic ? There are people who are very thin and can not gain weight even though they try. There are also ” fat” people who work hard to lose weight and are not proud that they are fat.

I personally fear for future generations , for my children that I will have in the future , because at no time do not want my daughter to feel bad because she doesn’t fit a standard of a ‘’real woman’’ or any woman for that matter.

Why there are no articles with very skinny or overweight men on the subject “real men?”. When I look at newspapers and online magazines all I see is ripped man with blue eyes. Not even once have I seen the glorification of the “average man” who may be missing some hair, may have a beer belly and a little cellulite on it . I did not see a thin man that shows his bones being called ‘’A real man”. Because all men are ‘’real man’’ and women are ‘’real’’ only when someone feels like it.

Well here it is to all of you who think you have the right to call someone ”real” or ”unreal”.

A real woman is not a woman with curves, nor a woman with big breasts, nor a woman with a flat ass, nor an anorexic woman. A ”real woman” is a woman who believes in herself, who knows what she wants, and feels comfortable in her skin and wears it good. She will never call herself a ”real woman” because she is humble and knows that every woman is special and ”real” in her own way. A ”Real woman” will NEVER call another woman ”ugly”, ”skinny”, ”fat” because a ”Real woman” is successful and supports others success , life decisions and sees beauty deep inside the surface of skin. A ”Real woman” has her own life and does not care if your grass is greener, because she is too busy working on her own. A ”Real woman” is a woman that walks down the street and turns heads, not because she is beautiful, but because she radiates a very special energy.

That is the very definition of a ” real women ” and even “a real man”.

And why no one promotes that?

Being a woman is much more than looks and what was given to you at birth. Being a real woman is making the best of what you have and what you want to be. To have character , personality and willpower. Being a ‘’real woman’’ means being able to cope with daily challenges. A ‘’real woman’’ for me is the woman who loves herself no matter what other women say about her. She respects herself. This is the woman I want to see in the photographs, a fashion show, on social networks and in newspapers . And even in the mirror. This is the woman I want my daughter to be. All women are “real women” because a real woman is whatever she wants to be, not what you tell her she should be.



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